DirtyFuckingPretty

It’s Valentine’s Day, so I wanted to write a song for my girlfriend, whom I think is the most beautiful person in the world. But I know she doesn’t always believe that when I say it or when someone else says it. And it took me a while when I was growing up to realize that people who were honestly just beautiful often didn’t see it.

In my life, I’ve gone through strange romantic times. I haven’t always had a partner on Valentine’s Day that I could say that to. I’m bisexual, too, so isn’t that supposed to double my chances? And, again, that’s sort of the human condition, too. As human beings, our timing usually sucks.

But lately I have been noticing how pervasive the human condition actually is. I have so many friends, online, in person, pen pals, etc. who just don’t wake up in the morning and believe that they are beautiful. In American Culture (I capitalize that like it’s a band name) we all have to feel like we match this Barbie and Ken ideal, be the right kind of woman, the right kind of man. We put huge emphasis on passing, whether it’s passing as a normal person at work or passing as the gender we really are n a room full of people who only look at one or two toxic gender characteristics and make decisions. We want to be lighter or thinner or more feminine or less feminine or just, I don’t know, SOMETHING that we suspect would make someone else think of us as someone who COUNTS.

I have friends who think they are the wrong kind of cereal (that actually does mean something), friends who call themselves a 2 or a 3, friends who don’t think they will ever be taken seriously as who they are. But all I see when I look at them is how beautiful they are. And I remember the lesson from when I was young. Even the most beautiful people n the world often have trouble believing it.

So, I wanted to dedicate this song not just to my partner, who was kind enough to believe the same thing, but to all my friends who don’t feel like they measure up. I’m lucky enough to play with a bunch of people who are constantly contributing to this musical mess and who believe this, too.

It may be hard to feel like you are today, of all days.

But you are beautiful.
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